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I’m now at the end of my stay in America so I thought I’d round the trip off with the Top 5 TV moments from my final two weeks:

1. Donald Trump agreeing to be interviewed on Good Morning America and then refusing to answer any questions. Who says Americans don’t get irony?

2. After weeks of sounding like a malfunctioning motivational speaker robot, Celebrity Apprentice contestant and consecutive mental-of-the-week Gary Busey was appointed project manager on a task to create a steak franchise but couldn’t get past the question of cow slaughter methods or comprehend that a man called Meatloaf didn’t know how to cook meat.

3. Steve Carell’s final episode playing Dunder Mifflin office manager Michael Scott in The Office: An American Workplace as he fittingly screws up his own leaving party, blows his own deadline for saying a personal goodbye to every person in his office, and takes off his microphone before his epitaph.

4. Gretchen Rossi from The Real Housewives of Orange County denies taunting her partner Slade Smiley (not a Marvel comic journalist character) about gaining weight as a montage of clips is played in which she habitually slanders him with ‘Tubba Wubba’  in a variety of unconnected everyday situations. Examples: ‘Get on the scales….Tubba Wubba!’/‘I love you no matter how fat you are….Tubba Wubba!’. Let’s hope she never has to take the stand in a major court case.

5. Retro Night on station KOFY during a marathon of Robert Stack Prohibition-set detective series The Untouchables as the rather doddery presenter reads to camera inaccurately from printed Wikipedia notes (‘So this show was made in the ‘20s’) before interviewing special guest Matt from accounts:

Presenter: So how long have you worked at the station?

Matt: Oh, only a few months.

Presenter: And what did you do before?

Matt: A few accounts-related jobs at other places.

Presenter: Thanks Matt. And now back to our programme…

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