Dreaming of View
What follows is a deposition of last’s night dream. Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is entirely mental.
My employers
Hosts of The View Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Barbara Walters and Elizabeth Hasselbeck want to leave the live broadcast of their morning talk show ten minutes early and ask me, who evidently works at the show and is somehow familiar to viewers, to fill in for the last segment. I have decided for some reason to go on air with a blue Ikea holdall full of broken, antiquated agricultural work tools taken from underneath my grandparents’ front garden and then lecture millions of American viewers on their archaeological significances. The audience and hosts abandon the studio leaving only myself and a floor manager. The manager signals that we have gone to commercial and to set up my bag of tools. At this point, the bag goes missing and I scramble to find it before we come out of the break. The tools have somehow re-submerged themselves into the soil in my grandparents’ garden, which is now adjacent to the studio, and I enlist their help to retrieve them as we dig into the earth with our hands and pull out hoes, rakes and steel-wood gardening appliances. I re-fill the bag and heave it over to the set, hoping to catch my cue. I miss it by mere seconds by which time an emergency broadcast of a late 1990s version of the show has automatically clicked in and is now playing on all the monitors. I feel dejected, especially because I am unable to show my girlfriend G that I have been on television in her country. The following day, The View resumes with its normal hosts and Whoopi and Barbara spend the opening ‘Hot Topics’ section of the programme castigating me for blowing this opportunity in front of a national TV audience and cursing themselves for giving me such a break.
Paging Dr. Melfis...
Anyone who thinks they may be able to shed some light on what this dream may mean or reveal about my psychological or emotional condition, please leave a comment.
Watching TV with Americans 
May 13, 2011 at 21:01
Hmm, a curious one but perhaps a reference to the difficulty of balancing working ethics (signified by all those tools) and northern roots with a career working with television. On the plus-side, your grandparents helped you look for the tools, so really it’s indicating you just need to have confidence. You’ve got all the skills, all the right people behind you, just need to find the confidence 🙂
Otherwise it’s a morbid fear of gardening combined with a mortal fear of missing favourite tv shows due to over-sleeping… or had you just been eating cheese before bed?
Loving the blog.