March and April 2019

New Blog 4.1

I’m not saying the Last Week Tonight with John Oliver plagiarized this blog but …

Watching TV with Americans (April 28, 2011): “Kris Kardashian on morning food show Rachael Ray getting a round of applause for adding parmesan cheese to Pasta Primavera. I still don’t know why.”

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (March 10, 2019): “And Now … Rachael Ray’s Audience Really Likes Cheese.”

… you do the math and/or maths.

Even though I’m content to show my son Peppa Pig, there is absolutely no excuse for the fat-shaming of Daddy Pig.

The writing on Game of Thrones has become as clunky as the gears in its title sequence.

If I learnt anything from Leaving Neverland and Surviving R. Kelly it’s that pedophiles have a history of acting exactly like you might imagine a pedophile would.

Henry Winkler returns to TV every couple of decades to remind us that television acting is an art form unlike any other kind of performance

Veep rivals Revenge Of The Sith in its haste to match up the political world of its final minutes to the one we’re all familiar with.

If you like spy fiction and hate people, Killing Eve is the show for you.

I’m watching Beverly Hills 90210 re-runs in the wake of Luke Perry’s death and realizing that the show was the missing link between the two eras of television.

New Blog 4.2

Mexican Dynasties has everything its American reality counterparts are sorely missing; a working-class perspective and a likable group of rich people at the heart of the show.

This season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills began in the middle as if it was a Scorsese film. But with a canine MacGuffin driving the story, it’s actually pure Hitchcock.

Those who prophesized the death of network television must have been chastened to learn that Netflix is almost entirely bankrolled by an old NBC primetime sitcom.

Luann from The Real Housewives of New York is living in a musical theatre version of the post-release scenes from The Shawshank Redemption.

90-Day Fiance’s Ashley keeps leaving her husband Jay at the side of the road like she’s just remembered he’s Dr. David Banner.

I wish that Married at First Sight swapped penultimate episodes with The Walking Dead this season so that the heads of the experts were put on spikes and the couples of Hilltop, The Kingdom, Alexandria and Oceanside got to reminisce about their month-old honeymoons with each other in a shotgun shack.

The in-room availability of HGTV was legitimately a consideration when my wife and I booked an overnight hotel stay in Las Vegas.

Game of Thrones cast a shadow over television fandom as large as the one we don’t see in the battle scenes.

The aspirations of the Vanderpump Rules cast have gone from the pipe dreams of acting and modelling to the more attainable goals of becoming a New York Times bestselling author and owner of a top LA bar destination.

It’s not dropping a long-awaited HBO movie trailer, it’s dropping the f-bomb the trailer can’t do without.

It was revealed that David Milch has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. For a man who made it impossible for actors to remember their dialogue, it seems the cruel, vengeful poetry of his writing has finally and tragically entered his life.

New Blog 4.3

90-Day Fiance has added yet another spin-off where its stars watch the spin-off they’re not in.

The Twilight Zone should do an episode about a TV network that’s not on TV where it’s always the 1960s.

I genuinely thought when Ne-Ne threw camera people out of her closet in The Real Housewives of Atlanta, it’s because she was harboring a fugitive R. Kelly in there.

Just as Bond 25 hired Fleabag’s Phoebe Waller-Bridge to salvage its script, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker should put Catastrophe’s Sharon Horgan on the payroll to resurrect Carrie Fisher.

Where do shows go when they get cancelled by Netflix?

What would HBO do without podcasts? I suppose all their original series would be based on drivetime morning radio shows.

Normally TV shows become their own fan fiction when they stay on the air too long but Killing Eve has found a way to make this the crux of the story.

The 60 Minutes special on R. Kelly had about as much new footage as the average episode of The Dog Whisperer.

There are so many female assassins on TV, they should unionize.

What I’m saying is: The writing is as bad as the lighting.

 

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